Still Addicted

A soda addict's wastebin.

After reading the introduction to the Book of Mormon and talking with a longtime LDS friend, I was ready to once again start my abstinence of soda. Being as how I bought a two liter of soda only hours previous to my recent abstention, I had a perfect chance to fight the power of my addiction to soda.

First,  I could only move the two liter from my desk to the fridge. Although the reasons against drinking soda are so clear to me, I used some kind of convoluted backwards logic to allow myself to continue to drink soda, only to later realize again that drinking soda is bad. Rationalizing irrational behavior is probably commonplace among addicts.

After talking to myself and my friend some more, I decided to pour the soda down the drain. The purpose of moving the soda to the fridge was to get away from the temptation.  Pouring the soda out required me to be within drinking length of the soda. It is hard for me to even recount the event.

I opened the door. There it was; nearly full, dark, and cold. I picked it up. It felt good. Nice and heavy, which meant it had plenty of the good stuff still inside. I could tell the bottle was still under a lot of pressure, which meant the soda was still very bubbly and carbonated. My mouth waters as I recount these small details that the average layman soda drinker would overlook.

I walked over to the sink. Thoughts of drinking the soda raced across my mind. As I write this now, all the good times I had with soda cross my mind. I wanted to back out. I wanted to drink that soda. NO! DAMN YOU! I didn’t drink the soda. I wanted to pour the soda out when I put it in the fridge, but didn’t have the power or clear mind to do so. I still didn’t exactly have the clear mind to do so, but I got the strength from somewhere to do it. Whether it was divine intervention or some power deep from within me, or a combination of both, I do not know.

I opened the cap. I opened the cap. Psssshhht. If I were being chaste, it would be the equivalent of putting my genitalia in close proximity to another’s genitalia that I was strongly, strongly, strongly attracted to. In that position it is really, really, really hard to pull away. I was so close. I could drink it. Nobody would mind. NO! Somehow, my rational mind broke through my stranglehold of lust for soda.

I began to pour it down the drain. I had to take minute to get myself together while writing this. As I poured the soda… As I poured the soda, it splattered and spread out along the base of the sink. It sounded very similar to how it would sound if I were pouring it into a tall, cold glass. It fizzed with excitement. The bottle chugged, and the sink burped. I could hear the soda fizzing down the drain pipe. All that remained was a caramel colored  splotch of liquid on the sink. I wanted to lick it off.


3 Responses to “Still Addicted”

  1. Dan Says:

    I’m glad you’re working to overcome your addiction. I would, however, advise against licking the sink 😉

  2. Steve Cable Says:

    Dude! You gotta get you some San Pellegrino! That stuff is awesome. I’ve totally used it to replace the soda that I used to drink! A friend of mine gave me a lecture on the dangers of aspartame, and how it turns to formaldehyde in your system. I’ve since switched from Diet Pepsi to San Pellegrino and never looked back! It’s definitely made the transition easier!

    Steve 🙂

  3. Mike Elliot Says:

    Hold strong brother, it will take a couple of days to work through the withdrawal and then you will feel much better than you have for a long time. You really don’t want to be putting that poison in your body.

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